Week ending 3/29/15

I decided to just do a weekly wrap-up to simplify my life. Of course, I reserve the right to change this at any time, however. I mean - something might come up that just CAN NOT wait!

So...main thing that happened this week was I signed up for OKCupid. I'm not really sure why I did, but there it is. I did. Immediately I received a barrage of interest. Now - not all that sent messages were in fact "real," but they were all incredibly complimentary. So I take it with a grain of salt. I know they're copying and pasting their compliments, but hey - if I choose to believe them, that's my prerogative. Y'know - sometimes you're just not feeling it and it's nice to read such things. I especially liked the ones that began with titles such as "empress" or "princess" or "queen." I guess being referred to as royalty is a *thing*?

There are quite a few local men on OKC, however. A plethora, one might say. So, I have begun conversations with some. And also some not so local.

On Saturday, I met one of these...subscribers...for lunch. We had been exchanging emails for a couple of days, then I suggested text and we did that for a couple of days. It's kind of weird. I noticed once plans are made to meet the men quit texting. I'm not sure why that is, but it's just an observation. Anyhow. So I met "Will" at a local restaurant. We agreed to meet in the parking lot so as to be better able to recognize one another. OH WAIT - I have to back up just a bit. In his profile, he says he is open to "friendships, short-term relationships, long-term relationships, casual sex." This is important later. When he messaged me (he was the first), I did not have a profile write up completed yet. So when I replied I asked if he had any questions for me. He asked my body type, to which I replied "Body type? About average in my opinion. And I am very kind with a great sense of humor. I mean - in case you wanted to know about my personality." Just to set the standard. 

So...we met...in the parking lot...he got out of his car...and he's portly. Now - I don't really care. But I found it interesting that he was concerned about my body type and yet didn't find it necessary to be honest on his profile where he said he had an athletic body. hmph.

In the interest of brevity, here is a bullet list of things I found undesirable or unacceptable:

• On the walk into the restaurant, he led the way - by which I mean it was kind of a rude "let's get this over with" type of walk
• He didn't take his hat off in the restaurant
• He spoke at length with 3 people on the way to the table. I understand acknowledging them, but at length. #awkward
• Within about 5 minutes of sitting down he went into a religious spiel. Totally unexpected. I politely listened, but yet when it was my opportunity to engage in conversation he did not listen. So I told him obviously we disagree, but he would never know why because he wouldn't listen to my reasoning so this conversation was over in my opinion.
• In his pictures he had some massive eyebrows. He's Irish &  southern Italian - so no biggie. I actually kind of liked them (he is a cutie!). But. He used (I think) a clipper on them. So they weren't "shaved" - but they were shaved. W.T.F.
• Although he said he was interested in casual sex (which I'm not, but I had to call him out on it!) he went on about how women get too emotionally attached and now that he's getting older he needs that emotional attachment...blah blah blah. So I asked him if I wanted to go back to his place and have sex right then what would he say. He took awhile, but said no. This led to a discussion of women and men - their views on sex as we age and how often sex should happen in a relationship. Even if I did like him, he's a once a week kind of guy. No thanks. That then led to a sex drive conversation. Anyways.

There was more...but really...the crux of the whole thing was no. Just no.

In better news, I am in very enlightening discussion with a vegan from a couple of hours away. I don't think it will ever amount to anything, but he is so much fun to write to. He makes me think. LIke - really think. I've enjoyed him. He does like to debate, which I hate to do (perhaps I should work on my abhorrence of debate), but I don't mind it as much in writing which is the majority of our communication. We have spoken on the phone (for an incredibly long time!), but the majority will probably be phone.

I will call him...Rob...

So let's just assume all names I use here are not their real names, OK? I mean - how would you know one way or another, right?
Rob. Lives about 45 minutes away, and when I messaged him he messaged back he was concerned about the distance, but liked my profile...so asked me to "entice" him.
I liked his confidence & he had the best profile I think I've ever read. So I just told him a bit about me, and told him if he was still interested, fine - no worries if not. He was out of state for awhile, so suggested we continue to communicate until he got back and we could make a decision then if we would continue to correspond & eventually meet.
We met. Our first date was dinner & we decided to dress nicely. That was nice. The whole evening was nice. He was a bit overconfident (which was apparent in his profile), but not obnoxiously so. So...we decided to go out again.
We went out five days later. We went to the restaurant we had originally planned on the first night and went to see a play at the local community college. Which I thought was a romcom. It started out that way.
The play was about a couple that met via blind date. They had one date and she wasn't really that into him, but agreed to go out again. That second date convinced her they were not meant to be together. So she said so very clearly, and went on her way. Through the course of the play we see the guy go crazy stalker. So crazy she has to move in with her boss, and can't go back to her apartment to get her stuff. He trashes her apartment.
Eventually she goes back to get her stuff, he is outside, and she is convinced to relocate and change her name.
Here is the funny part. Rob texted me the next morning to say it wasn't going to work out, the distance between us is too far. Fair enough.
But that retrospect part. That part that really wants to message him and tell him not to worry, I won't become a crazy stalker just because we went on two dates and he broke up with me. I mean - how ironic we would see a play that has that as the main story? Just weird.
In other news - there was a woman at the play. Probably around my age, heavy, mousey brown hair, pretty nondescript. She was alone. At first I was impressed that she would go alone. I don't think I'm there yet with my self-confidence (but I'm going to be soon.). Then I started to think about it. She sat as far away from people as she could, and never looked around. If I'm going to go places alone, I don't want to be like that. I'm sure I will be the first few times, but eventually I want to be that person that goes places alone and others look to as inspiration and it's not weird.
Also...Rob gave me a template to write my very own "break up" text, which I used to let "Jim" know I wasn't interested in seeing him anymore. I'm going to keep that break up text to tweak and use in the future if necessary.

Stranger Date at Starbucks

I used to blog. Then - I stopped. Now I'm back again, better than ever.
This blog is about dating trials and tribulations. Mine, others - makes no difference to me, if it's funny I want to memorialize it in writing.
This morning, I got up early and came into town to grocery shop (changing up my times and locations to meet new people) and then go to Starbucks and Target. Grocery shopping is done. Perhaps a different time next week - 8:45 doesn't seem to be the time. I am now at Starbucks. and...there is a date at the table next to me. Goldfreakingmine.
When I walked in, I immediately could tell by the body language and weird conversation this was a first date - blind? online? friend introduction? Who knows. By immediately, I mean I could tell before I walked by their table on the way to the register to order.
Some observations thus far (and yes...I'm talking notes while shamelessly listening in. Luckily, he is so freaking loud it's not a strain):
It's obvious it's a first date. Yet the bulk of the beginning of the conversation is all about the future and what he "needs" in a woman. But wait - that's not all...no, indeed - he is also finding it necessary to tell her ALL ABOUT his ex-girlfriends - the good AND the bad. Dude. One of his exes is a teacher - yeah. From my understanding, she (the ex) is from Wisconsin and after she lost her job, he wanted her to move here. Yet oddly enough, she had to think about it. Well - that was the nail in the coffin, in his opinion. If she had to think about it, then she doesn't want him bad enough.
Which brings me to.
The "Brad Pitt" rule. Oh my heavens. So he has a rule of thumb - if he asks you out, and you say you have something going on that night, then he thinks "if I'm Brad Pitt and I invited you out, would you drop everything to go? If not, then I'm not the man for you. If you're too busy to see me or unwilling to change your plans, I'm not interested." Newsflash, dude. You're NOT BRAD PITT. Not even a close facsimile. Also...control much?
He said last weekend he went to the Vintage...and the Brass Rail...(I quote directly here) "alone, because I have no friends." Well...maybe his friends all had other plans, and because they weren't willing to change them, they were gone.
He seriously needs to shut the fuck up. She is totally NOT into him at all. She's looking around and fake laughing.
This guy is totally crazy walking on the wild side. He had a list of things he's changed since his divorce. Ready? He used to take hot showers. Now he takes cold. You're pretty lucky you're just hearing all this second hand, because in the interest of brevity, I have DRASTICALLY reduced the 20 minute tirade about how hot showers are comfortable, and reducing comfort, and. Wait. There is no reason to repeat all this. He uses a double edged safety razor now. I told you - walking on the wild side. There's more. He has started shopping at Men's Warehouse. That's right - he has made the change from t-shirts to button ups. From what kind of coat I don't know what in the past to sports coats with dark jeans. want another quote? Then so it shall be. "I own jeans." Well, sweetheart - aren't you special.
Let me just give you an example of how special he is. As a teen, he saw Nirvana in concert. His mom didn't want him to go, she said "you can go see them anytime." To which he replied, "but what if they die?". Now I'm not saying he can tell the future...but...the facts seem to speak for himself. You be the judge.
Haha...she's totally texting out for a rescue. This guy is a goldmine.
This chick needs to grow a pair. Unless she's into assholes. If so, then she must be thrilled. He's making her buy a song on iTunes. Right now. He used those words. WAIT - he has THREE he wants her to buy. Right now. AND SHE'S DOING IT!
The conversation has taken a turn to plans for the afternoon. His quotes are just too good to pass up. His plans are to "retreat to his fortress of solitude and read." Somehow, this has led to a conversation about geocaching. He hasn't directly said he invented geocaching, but I might be in the presence of a hero. He looks NOTHING like Dave Ulmer, but what do I know.
"Music should be paid for - it's their job. You go to work and get paid, don't you? Why should it be any different for musicians? Unless they're dead. Or already have lots of money, like Hall and Oates." I don't even know what to say to this.
More music type of talk. In high school, he listened to the standard pop music (Peter Gabriel, Hall and Oates, etc. etc. etc.) until he started listening to more alternative music. The songs listed were not alternative (Ah-Ha, The Cure, etc.). "And then, we discovered the Beatles. And that is all we listened to." Until one fateful day. One day he was out with a friend, and his friend put Nirvana in the radio. "Here we are, ditching school, rolling a joint, listening to Nirvana." His life changed at that moment. That evening, he immediately went and bought the cassette.
Well, her rescue text has come in. So she's saying goodbye. They have plans to see each other on Thursday. Oh sweetheart - he's not for you. Run while you still can.

In other news, there are two men my age that walked in alone. Perhaps this is a better location than Kroger on a Sunday morning.